damzil in distress

2005-07-18T11:44:00.000-04:00

They say that the bigger the glasses the more stylish you are. Its the "IN" thing right now. Oversized glasses is 2005. So heres Mady with the latest style. She loves wearing them too. I take her in public like this and just watch everyone laugh amongst themselves. Anyway to cute not to post. Madyson 05.

IM BACK YO~!

2005-07-14T14:02:00.000-04:00

If you could live forever, would you and why?Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest
.``````````````````````````````````"
Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey

````````````
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

`````````````````````````````````````````````````"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

`````````````````````````````````````````````"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates inthe country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington DC.

`````````````````````````````"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

````````````````````````````````````````````````````"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," --A congressional candidate in Texas

.````````````````````````````"Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

`````````````````````````````````"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President (DUH)

```````````````````"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." --Dan Quayle

``````````"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"--Lee Iacocca

```````````"The word 'genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy likeNorman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &sports analyst.`

```````````````````````````````````````````"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

`````````````````````````````````"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --Bill Clinton, President

``````````````````"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."--Al Gore, VP (damn he's smart)

````````````````"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."--Keppel Enderbery

``````````````````````"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."--Department of Social Services, South Carolina

````````````````````````````````````````````"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as theygo to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And thenext morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

````````````````````````Feeling smarter yet?

unfaithfull blogger

2005-07-01T15:08:00.000-04:00

I have been unfaithfull to my blogging. Sorry. My roadrunner has been not letting me sign on i just got it fixed. Im here in FL and there has been lots of thunder storms and power outages so i think that has something to do with it. Nothing spectacluar has happend with the few days i havent written. Just going to school gossiping about these 2 girls i hate being bitchy to them to see how far they let me take it and hanging out with my girls at night. Matt and I have been doing seperate things he goes to the moveis and dinner with his friends and i go out with mine and now we are doing super! Yeah i said Super. Super duper!

something scary

2005-06-29T12:07:00.000-04:00

Last night I woke up from a deep sleep almost sudden and looked over at Matt and he was sitting up real still and had his head kinda tilted like he was listening to something.. He sat there like that i would say for 2 mins.. I was wondering what was going on.. Then he walked to the bathroom which is in our room and when he came out he said "that was freaky" He said that he heard something flying around in the shower ( we have shower doors instead of curtains) and his shampoo was thrown out of the shower and across the bathroom. After that i couldnt sleep at all, i kept thinking i heard stuff all night. I finally did fall asleep but then Matt let one rip and it lasted like 30 seconds and it woke me up I didnt really know it was a fart so i tought it was the ghost and my heart was pounding then I kninda woke up and realized it wasnt a ghost. I dont know what was scarier the insident in the bathroom or the 30 second fart.

Sorry

2005-06-27T09:32:00.000-04:00

I always go somewhere over the weekends thats why i dont write. This is just a monday- friday blog. So Saturday i took Mady to the park for the first time and she loved the swings and climbing up the slide. Sunday we went to a waterpark and Mady just had so much fun playing with the big kids in the pool. Shes probably thinking " I could get the hang of this life thing" I dont get to take her out much cause of school.. I feel guilty cause of that. Whatever time i do get with her though I make sure i spend all of it with her.
I went with my friend Megan and her 6 yr old son to go get ice cream Sat night and She orderd her son cookies and cream in a waffel cone and then after she orderd she was telling me how cute the guy was who took our order he comes back and says.. Did you say cookies and cream or cookie dough and she blirts out Waffel. The guy then says I know im cute but i didnt know i was cute enough to make you speechless. Megan about Died.
Her son was like what the hell??? He didnt say that of course hes only 6 but i know he thought it.
I have to dedicate my time today to laundry =( I have so much laundry to do its starting to look like mt everrest in my garage. When ever my laundry gets this Bad i always complain i dont have enough clothes and i need to go clothes shopping... I will try anything to get out of laundry. I will have a more exciting blog for you later this was just a catch up!

Random blogging

2005-06-23T09:10:00.000-04:00

Ok so i dont really have anytning to say im just going to babble on. Ok heres something, What i dont understand is when people ask what time it is they always point to there wrist.. you ever notice that? When i need a bathroom should i point to my crotch "wheres the bathroom?"
The other day I went to walmart to get some cleaning supplies and i asked where was the shower racks and the lady pointed to an isle but her finger was crooked and i couldnt tell where she was pointing too. The top part of her finger was straight but then the very end pointed to the left. I thought it would be better just to find it on my own. I politley said " Thank you" and couldnt stop thinking how gross her finger was. I wasnt even close to where i thought her handy cap finger was pointing.. Needless to say it took me awhile to find what i wanted.
I made a church sign

what do you think? you can make one http://www.churchsigngenerator.com/index.php I got this idea from
http://devilsdeeds.blogspot.com Wow i kinda just did a shot out! Ok lets talk about rights and lefts...Your right i left!

on another note

2005-06-22T12:54:00.000-04:00

So Matt and I talked since my last blog, we even had lunch together. We are going to let eachother have some space alittle like i have my friends and he has his. But still be together. I think it will make us miss eachother more.
So every thing is fine! I am keeping the letter up though that way he can still read it casue he should know thats how i feel i need to communicate with him.
Enough of that though.. Here are some things ive learned over time...............

1 Some people arnt vegitarians cause they feel sorry for the animals, its cause they hate plants.
2 Based on what my friend Jessica learned in gym class you throw red balls at fat people
3 Theres plenty of fish in the sea......but who the hell dates fish?
4 Beer makes you smarter...it made Bud Wiser!
5 If you rerange mother in law you get woman hitler
6 Some guys think this pick up line works....Nice legs what time do they open
7 some girls dont turn heads they break fucken necks
8 Im out with the chess gang...yeah thats right im in a gang
9 I know someone with a pet duck named Aflack
10 at least one person wants to sue the jetsons for promising us such a cool future
11 When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.
12 I hate when im at a wedding or something and old people pinch my cheeks and say "your next" I think when were at a funeral i will go up to an old person and pinch their cheeks "your next"

ps Im not sure if this is true or not but Stevie Wonder sang the national anthem at some game and G-Dub was there and waved to Stevie Wonder.. So did Bush actually think Stevie would wave back??? HES BLIND!

Sorry Matt

2005-06-22T08:33:00.000-04:00

Matt,
You think I wrote all this stuff cause I didn't think that you would ever read it... You couldn't be any more wrong. I was hoping that you would read it cause when ever I talk to you about how I feel you always rudely interrupt me and ask if im finished or if Im done being mean. Now you know how I really feel with out any interruptions. I didn't bad mouth you in any way I just stated pretty much I was unhappy and why I am unhappy. I never said that I hated you or you were a bad person, I don't think that of you, I wouldn't just make up something. Im glad you read the way I feel im better at expressing through writing other then talking. When I talk words just loosely fall out into a big mess of words that end up making no since. You said some mean things to me last night but you say its how you feel...Im sorry I make you feel that way, Its just ashame that you so rudely blurt it out only when we are fighting. Maybe if you could just listen to me when I need to tell you something without getting so offended and tell me how you feel at a calm time we coulda worked out. I think you couldn't have said it better though when you said ill be moving without you...Sad to say but that's what we need. This really hurts me..This is the only way I feel like I can communicate with you and to be able to say everything I need to say. Im force feeding you my feelings. Look Matt its gone on long enough, your not happy im not happy that pretty soon will make Mady unhappy and that's something I know we can both agree on. You seen your parents unhappy and I know that you never wanted to be like that.
Im sorry that I make you feel depressed and like I always bring you down. That hurt me. I just wanted us to be happy but I guess you cant make someone happy if your not happy yourself. Neither of us were happy. When you read this I will be at school. Im not going to call you cause you might just say something out of anger so whatever you want to say to me, you should really think it over. We couldn't make our relationship work but we still have our friendship. Im sorry. I know I did a lot wrong and made things difficult please don't in anyway think im pushing this all on you, it was us. What were going to do from here we can talk face to face. I will keep my cool..Hopefully you can too. Again Matthew sorry.

Im going to eat you!

2005-06-21T10:39:00.000-04:00

When I feed my daughter her hands go flying up and she starts throwing up devil signs with her fingers, her head starts banging she gets this evil smile. She looks like shes at some hard core rock concert. We went out to dinner last night and she wouldnt stop rocking out she was going crazy I swear it coulda been to any slipknot song cause it was fast pased. I was getting so mad cause she would put her food in her mouth and head bang and practicly choke on it. Maybe i just shouldnt feed her anymore! Food brings out the Devil in her.

Eye of the tiger

2005-06-20T08:55:00.000-04:00

you guys havent even got to read my last blog..im just to fast for you all! This blog was a must though.
This is the best Seeeeeee!!! im not even going to tell you what its about just go check it out! then read and comment on my last blog as well!

Maybe i shoulda called

2005-06-19T20:28:00.000-04:00

So today is Fathers day.. I never met my real dad but i have a step dad. I kept thinking I should really call him and wish him a happy fathers day but i keep putting it off and here i am writing about it instead of actually doing it. Its just when ever i call him he talks for hours and ask's a million questions and i just dont feel in the mood for all the questions. Half the time i talk to him i put the phone down and come back a minute later and hes still talking. Maybe i will email him. Anyway.... Matt cooked and did the dishes today and was saying this sucks its fathers day i shouldnt be doing this... LOL. I didnt care though... I was in labor last mothers day, trust me i would have rather been doing the cooking and cleaning.

I went to target today to buy a pump for a blow up pool and this old man walked by me and let one rip and he even lifted up his leg like a male dog peeing. Can you picture that? He had no shame either. I wanted to laugh but he was like 80 and i think he was having problems getting that sucker out... Hopefully he didnt shart but by the smell of things i think he did. I hope when im 80 i still have controll of things if you know what i mean. I DONT WANT TO GET OLD! Its my new found fear.

2005-06-18T20:54:00.000-04:00

Sorry everyone this is a short blog...I cant write to much im leaving for a day and were leaving like right now. I'll miss yall... See you in a few days! =) Have a good weekend. Heres a pic of me and Madyson!

2005-06-17T16:41:00.000-04:00

To your comments.. It was even worst we were doing the dance to thirller and it was during the part where he gets up on his toes and then spins but the boy wanted to spin me, we thought that added bonus would have a hallarious ending...IT DID me in the ER in a cast for 2 weeks and then off to the orthpetic we go. The call with Megan (shes real blonde) went something like this
Megan: Matt, this is Megan Lynzes friend, she has to go to the ER her bone is sticking out of her skin

Matt: WHAT!!!

Megan: I dont know Man her leg is broke in half at the knee.

Matt : can lynze talk?

Megan: yeah here

Linzi: Hello

Matt: Whats going on..

Linzi: Oh nothing baby im just lying on the floor they cut my pants off and my knee is dislocated i fail down the staires

Magen grabs phone, paramedics have some questions

Megan: She broke it dancing i dont know why she said staires

I SAID STAIRES IDIOT CAUSE I DISLOCATED IT DANCING WITH ANOTHER GUY!

THE WORST NIGHT EVER!

2005-06-17T09:16:00.000-04:00

So Im at school and my girl Magen wants to go out tonight( last night) and I thought ok cool I havent been away from Matt in forever also havent been having that much fun lately so I'll go. We went club/bar hopping. Magen is from this area so she has tons of friends and her friends just end up loving me. We ( about 12 of us) decide to hit up this club called club envy. Were all having a great time. I use to dance ( no not strip dance, hip/hop/corriagraphy) And the music there was tributes to Micheal Jackson and were all goofying around and Im teaching this guy some moves and he twirlls me and BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE!!!!!!my leg DISLOCATES We are all on the 2nd story of the club.The club lights all went on and they kicked everyone out and the ambulence had to come and i was rushed to the ER. My first girls night out.... WAAAWWAAAH horrible experience. All the guys were saying shes a trooper shes handeling it like a solider! I already felt so stupid i thought why not say stupid comments to lighten the mood. I was trying to entertain while laying on the floor with my knee cap completely outa place.
So Megan had to call Matt to tell him i was in the ER just what i needed... He was so mad i even went out and to top it off I never did get that pizza i wanted!

BROWN VRS BLONDE

2005-06-16T09:21:00.000-04:00

If you scroll down ive posted 2 pics one blonde and one brown iam currently a burnette right now ive only been burnette for 2 weeks im thinking i might go back to blonde... What do you all think?
Im having popcorn for breakfast....I hear popcorn is a healthier snack but with all the butter mine has on it its just a tastey fattning snack. I am giving up soda though... I love coke and dr pepper Today will really be my first day trying... I think coke actually makes the food taste better. My fav combo is pizza and coke. Pizza just taste better washed down by coke. My friend drinks Pizza and milk that sounds gross to me but she loves it.
I want pizza now well tonight now is to early... Anyone wanna come over for pizza!?!

2005-06-16T09:15:00.001-04:00

brown

2005-06-16T09:15:00.000-04:00

blonde

YEA!

2005-06-15T13:39:00.000-04:00

I got the call I've been waiting for... Ive got the modeling job. For those who have no clue to what iam talking about... There was a modeling scout that came to my school and wanted me in there upcoming runway shows but told me to email some pics to there boss. Im thinking whatever. And everyone at my school is saying go for it you will get it. I was thinking yeah right. We'll I emailed the pics and she just called me and said im in the July show and will get paid 300$ a day but its a long day she warned. Im doing the Saturday and Sunday shows. I will be modeling for Davids bridal. How ironic someone whos been divorsed by 20 and engaged 6 times posing for a bridal mag, lol.

What was he trying to tell me

2005-06-15T10:18:00.000-04:00

Yesterday on my way to school I was side to side with this truck and the guy in the passanger seat was looking at me so i sped up alittle that way we were wernt right next to eachother he fail way behind and I was thinking ohh maybe he wasnt staring at me. Then the come zooming up and hes smiling with me and sticks out a note and wants me to grab it... Well im not the best driver and almost hit the person in front of me so im thinking Fuck that idea and hes laughing... like me getting in a accedent would be funny specially in my new car. Then he holds up a paper with big black numbers his phone number.... I wish i would remember it. it was something with a bunch of 4's and 2 I think 46 somethin and the last two numbers was 27 I want to call him and tell him that his dessperate attempt actually made me feel good the rest the day and to never do that agian to a women driver cause we are accedent prone. Well i am anyway. Its weird but i think after knowing that in someone elses eyes other then Matts that im hot made me have this feeling. Cant explain it though. Most the time I just feel like a mom and then i felt like a hot 22 yr old!
Ok time to change the subject.... Ive noticed where ever you go theres always those negitive people who make your attitude just shift from good to bad. I say this cause im in school and theres one girl who is just overwhelmed by everything we do and shes always sighing real loud so people in butt fuck egypt will hear her and softly but loudly letting out a sharp "fuck" We all stand all day as a hair dresser thats what you do and shes over in her cornor "my back fucken hurts, i need a ciggerette" Its all day everyday... You cant ignore it. you come tho school happy and then your faced with the devil or at least one of its spawns. Anyways i know all you guys who read this are thinking you know someone just like that. There everywhere. and if you dont know anyone like that then im packing up and moving to where you live!

Blogs worth reading

2005-06-14T10:11:00.000-04:00

There are a few blogs on here that everytime i read them they make me smile but im going to give you the link to one of the blogs.. Hes such a people person and very open.... http://rubenblack.blogspot.com He has these cool graphics and the way he words things makes me smile. Ok im suppose to be getting ready to go out. Just wanted to see Rubens new blog. BYE!

2005-06-14T09:57:00.000-04:00

Lynze

2005-06-14T09:56:00.000-04:00

meow

2005-06-14T08:58:00.000-04:00

Matt and Me

2005-06-14T08:57:00.000-04:00

here we are me and Matt. Yeah hes huge. Hes 6'7 and 285lbs.

Come back daily dancer!

2005-06-14T08:03:00.000-04:00

Where is the daily dancer when I need him! It would be a great way to start this day. Its sunny outside, im in a good mood and a good laugh would top it off! Anyway..... Relationship counciling sounds bad for someone who isnt even married yet.... its like were doomed before we even walk down the alter!
So i did alot of thinking cause i couldnt put my finger on it exactly to what was it about Matt that causes him to be the way he is. Matts mom left when he was 12 and chose a life of drugs and loser guys. Matt has never had a serious reltaionship other then me and has a hard time trusting any girls. He has a older brother and his dad and thats it, so he says he dosnt know how to treat a girl romanticly cause hes never been around girls. His mom died a year ago from a drug overdose... When ever MAtt and I fight he gets all dramatic and always throws out the I know you are going to leave me like my mom left me card..
Matts dad is a money hungry workaholic and Matt works for him. His dad likes controll and he makes Matt and I feel like we need him or tries to make us feel like we need him cause we cant do it on our own... Exp..." We'll Matt if you wernt working for me were would you be now, you need me." He says stuff like that all the time.
Im guessing thats where Matt gets his erge to controll me with money and house chores. I love haveing a clean house, ask anyone i know but on my days i go to school all day i dont want to come home and clean.
One thing I admire about Matt is he never loses his cool..He dosnt blow up and get mad...and hes gained weight ( me i would freak out if i gained alot) and he still is happy with the way he looks. He never makes me feel like hes looking at other girls either, I really like that.
Theres just no excitement there. Its the same ol stuff everyday.
On another note...BLAH.. I got a letter from my realestate agents my lease is up July 31st and if i wish to renew my lease they are raising the price to $900 a month =( right now Im paying $825 I know its not that big of a difference but i just got a new car and so that means a new car payment starting in July. WHAT TO DO! theres nothing here for rent any more. Wow this may be one of my longest blogs! DO you all want to see a pic of MAtt? I can post one.

Jason

2005-06-13T15:03:00.000-04:00

Well Matt does know about this blog but has no desire to read it and to know the way i feel, ive given him the address a million times but i guess he dosnt care but everything else you wrote was right on. Who are you? I know Jason is your name but whats your blog address? Your comment just amazed me i felt like for once someone who knew me but in all reality you dont know me. I dont really know what im doing when i post those pics, i dont know what im hoping for i always feel like im hoping something either with me and Matt or someone else. Matt had everything i wanted and now hes different. I think he looks at me as a mom and not Lynze anymore. Iam just to keep the house clean, take care of Mady cook all courses and go to school at the same time. When i buy any thing for myself i better have a good reason why cause i shouldnt slurge every now and then.. In his eyes. But he has everything. a $300 dollar pair of sunglasses. $ 400 phone Sirius radio in his car, mp3 player 2 of them EVERYTHING. all i buy is clothes and sexy underwear but he gets mad.
We just bought a car together well its only in my name and he tells me not to drive it to much or he rather take me to school so i cant drive it
Im really freakin irrateted with my situation. I just learned how to give facials, thats a face massage and i had to beg him to let me give him one. any guy would love the attention right? ok enough about this serious stuff! im going to go

To a guy named Josh

2005-06-13T11:44:00.000-04:00

for those who know me NO not that Josh. Theres this guy named Josh that has his own website www.quickverbaltactics.com and he wanted me to check it out. I was reading some things from it and I think all men should read it.I cant write to much about it cause i havent really played with it yet but go check it out for yourself.! =)

You may not know

2005-06-13T10:43:00.000-04:00

I got this idea from another blog. So ive commited blog theft cause im stilling her Idea.
Heres some things you may not know about me...

1. Every morning when I wake up I pee and then weigh myself hoping for something less then 120

2. Sometimes I just think about eating instead of actually doing it

3. Ive been engaged to the same person 6 times and still not married

4. Starting to wonder if its doubt on both sides

5. Sometimes I want to just get in my car and drive until i get lost

6. Afraid of getting lost so thats why i never do #5

7. My mom is a better mom now that I dont need her like I did back then

8. I admire the way Matt handels things

9. I love depressing music

10. I've never done any drugs havent even smoked a ciggerette

11. Sometimes I visualize being drunk at school to make things funner

12. During our facials I had to fart the whole time.

13. I think my daughter is cuter then all my friends babys

14. I like posting sexy pics just for the comments

15. I like attention from other guys cause i feel like Matt dosnt show enough

16. I wish my life was a love movie without death though

17. I honestly dont regret anything ive done

18. Matt and I never kiss & I think I forgot how to kiss

19. Any guy who can sing turns me on

20. Matt has never sang to me

21. I sing to Mady and she laughs

22. I kill all my plants and I have no idea what im doing wrong

23. I compare my self to everybody...bad habit

24. I watch stupid stuff

25. Im suppose to wear glasses all day everyday but i dont thats why i never remember faces

26. Looking back at # 25 and im a hair dresser thats bad!

2005-06-13T09:25:00.000-04:00

Lady in red

2005-06-13T09:24:00.000-04:00

BOO!

Dog Crap

2005-06-13T09:11:00.000-04:00

So last night I watched The Notebook for the 2nd time and I still love it. I think Im going to add it as one of my favorite movies. Ok this isnt what the blog is about so moving on.... Its 9am here in FL and could my day go any worse??? I woke up to my dog throwing up on the floor and then I took him outside and he played the whole time while i got eaten alive by mesquitos, then i bring him in and he shits in the garage 3 times. Hes potty trained and this is the first time hes crapped in the garage but i was so pissed cause we were just outside for a half hour. Im really fed up with this dog but i still love him... I think im going to buy a shock collar and zap his ass when hes outa controll. Hes never rough with the baby but he does still food from her and thats bad too cause hes already 45 pounds and mady is only 22 pounds and once hes bigger he can knock her over or her high chair. I know every one has an oppion about these collars but once you know my crazy ass rottweiler then voice it. Going to pet smart later!

Saturday School

2005-06-11T07:21:00.000-04:00

Well im getting ready to spend another saturaday stuck in school. I got to say i have really been saving money since i started going to school. I thought it would be the other way around...Id be a broke ass college student. Thanks Jason for 2 things.. Commenting on my Blog and the website. Photoshop is pretty interesting.
Im going to cut this hella short and finish getting ready. Ciao!

And boom goes the dynamite~!

2005-06-10T11:56:00.000-04:00

I think I have seen the most funniest thing ever! I was watching David Letterman last night and he had show and tell... There was a college freshmen on there Named Brian Collins and hes in telecomp. He got to annouce the sports news for his college cause the original guy was absent. He had never done it before and he did TERRIBLE he kept stuttering and even having minute pauses cause he was so nervous. And then when he was talking about basket ball he wanted to throw in some catch phrases like the ones we all hear... "He shoots he scores"...Or "Hes going for the 3 and he scores" and he just yelled out " And boom goes the dynamite" Even yelled it out late. Thus making it one of the funniest things I have ever seen.
check it out..http://www.ebaumsworld.com/sportsnews.html. you will be sorry u didnt! He gets the rebound and passes to the man! And Boom goes the Dynamite.

2005-06-09T13:43:00.000-04:00

Um yeah

2005-06-09T13:40:00.000-04:00

Lynze in white

2005-06-09T13:37:00.000-04:00

Happy Mady

2005-06-09T13:31:00.000-04:00

me and jessica

The funniest thing

2005-06-09T08:39:00.000-04:00

I woke up this morning about 7:30. Its overcast outside and it really feels like a gloomy day. I checked my email and nothing great there, I checked my bank account, again nothing great there, I checked my blog...No comments BUT I did stumble along something funny http://dailydancer.com/ Its a little weird maybe even kinda scary but it brought a smile on my face! If you feel like its a bad day trust me you could be this guy! For those who are to lazy to click the link I provided for ya... Its this star wars geek who puts baseball gloves on and dances to disco or funk type music... If you seen Napoleon dynamite he kinda reminds me of him.
I am thinking about taking my daughter somewhere fun today, maybe a public kiddy pool.. Indoors of course or in a few hours we would be struck by lightening cause that's all it ever does here is storm. I want to teach her how to swim young. shes 13 months now I think you can teaching the basics at this young.
My friend Eddie commented on a blog a while back.. I was saying how im depressed I weighed 120.. Even if I weighed 110 or something I still wouldn't be happy, I wasn't happy when I was 110 I need to solid up cause that is just shallow. I have a beautiful daughter and a man who is so into me that if I just touch his hand hes ready to go knock boots. Im going to try to keep up this positive attitude. My daughter can tell when im down and I don't want her to see her mommy sad over something so cliched.
Thanks Eddie for that comment it made me realize some stuff.
I want to do something today so bad even it just means going to walmart. Since ive been in school I haven't done anything. To bad its storming or I would go to a park. On another note I am really excited that my dog is getting neutered tomorrow. As twisted as that sounds its the best thing for him. Im going to shower...wanna join!?

buffallo wings

2005-06-08T16:33:00.000-04:00

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/296/2612/1024/wings.jpg
i liked this thats why i put it on my blog.http://photos1.blogger.com/img/296/2612/1024/trees.jpg

2005-06-08T15:57:00.000-04:00

Lynze

template

2005-06-08T14:27:00.000-04:00

i hate them all i cant find the right templet!

S & M

One day Mom was cleaning Junior's room and in the closet she found a bondage S&M magazine.
This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his Father got home and showed it to him.
He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word. So she asked him, "What should we do about this?"
Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."

have fun reading that

2005-06-08T14:23:00.000-04:00

put that in ur pipe and smoke it
L.O.V.E me...*hAtE mE*...EiThEr WaY...yOu .:ENVY:. mE"I'm Not TrYiN tO SeDuCe yOu..But ArN't yOu UnComFoRtAbLe iN tHoSe PaNtS?"PaRtY nAkEd*HaVe A bLaSt*MeSs WiTh Me I'lL kIcK yOuR aSs* Get Em HaRd*WeAr A tHoNg* DrInK a 5Th* SmOkE a BoNg* ReMeMbEr ThE gUy* ReMeMbEr ThE kIsS* rEmEmBeR tHe DaYs We'Re GoIn To MiSs* CrAzY nIgHtS* pArTyIn LaTe* AiNt lIfE GreAT!**BOURBON BABE and VODKA VIXEN*BeEr Is LiViNg PrOoF tHaT gOd LoVeS uS aNd WaNtS uS tO bE hApPy!"-Benjamin Franklin*"Vote OR DiE" VOTE BUSH!!!So what if punk rockers dye their hair w/temp. dye..its not like they'll take baths and it'll wash out....***NEVER BE FAITHFUL TO SOME ONE YOU CAN LIVE WITH***BE FAITHFUL TO SOMEONE YOU CAN'T LIVE WITH OUT***Insanity takes its toll, please have exact change. And on a serious note: If you think you've met someone who hung the moon, watch out they are most likely just distracting you while they steal your stars!!!

almost 2pm

2005-06-08T13:58:00.000-04:00

This day is going by way to fast.. School in a couple of hours :( Not looking forward to it today. I think I have a destroyed image of myself. I weigh 120 on good days 118 and im 5'6 and everyone tells me that they wish they had my body and i was chosen to model for davids bridal but they wanted some pics emailed to them so i took some pics and i hated every single one. I could find something wrong no matter how perfect it seems to someone else its never perfect for me. When i feel like this i get anti-social and i just want to starve myself. Its shallow to let myself be so down over some bad pics but for some reason i cant help it. I used to hear my mom make her self throw up every morning and she was obessed with her weight she was like 105 and 5'6 back then and would make sure everything was perfect with her apperance.. so i know where i got it from. Shes not like that any more and now shes happy with her self and i envy that, cause she made me who iam and then all a sudden she changes. hmmmm who knows. Does any one read this damn blog?

me

2005-06-07T14:28:00.000-04:00

http://us.f2.yahoofs.com/users/41477baaz67c92bb9/phoenix_paige/__sr_/3408.jpg?pfIhepCBxQixRjlP

Brandi

2005-06-07T14:21:00.000-04:00

oh yeah i have my settings to where no one but the people on my buddy list can IM me, im sorry bout that.. I should be getting your IM's next time, i changed the settings.

I could kill Debo

2005-06-07T13:44:00.000-04:00

Deisel is my dog, also known as Debo.. he is a 31/2 month ol' rottie. He is a champion blood line dog, AKC, WKC, all that other crap people pay more money for, we just got him for a family pet not to stud out or show off. Infact his man hood is being robbed from him on friday and i cant wait. Hes getting to the point where if you are his level he gets turned on and his lipstick comes out. I hate it. I hope getting him nueterd really helps or i might just have to say see ya~ Hes a wild dog he gets these spurts and will run rapid tell hes knocked everything over. Hes in boot camp right now, im not playing or letting anything slide, messes up and he will feel the wrath of a pissed off woman, trust me theres nothing worse! Well enough about debo. I have school tonight...timed perms.... my weakness, i have retarted fingers or something cause iam the slowest perm wrapper in my class. Iam so amazed at the speed some girls do it at. I need to speed it up some how. Im the best hair cutter in my class but worst permer. I dont mind doing it im just slow as hell. Once i start a perm my mind just wonders.. I start playing like house in my mind.. I imagine im at home and what i want to cook for dinner or what else i rather be doing then this aweful perm and then when i look over at the other students they are almost finished with there perms....I cant think while perming, i guess im not muti-tasked! I gotta go now though... bye.

what to do today

2005-06-06T08:41:00.000-04:00

I go all week waiting for the days off from school and when those days come i have no idea what to do. I try to sleep in but naturally i cant, i have nothing really to clean and the weather is overcast and crappy.... I wish i hade school today but tomorrow when im at school i will be waiting for that day off agian. i do have to go grocery shopping so thats one thing in 24 hours. I think im going to rent the pooh movie with heffalump and watch that with my daughter. I cant stand whennie the pooh but i like elephants. I was anti whennie stuff i said at my baby shower now pooh stuff and no pooh stuff for the nursery. Now im going to rent the movie. I want to see the elephant really.. I bought Mady a heffalump from the disney store its really cute. When i try to post pics on here through Hello it always says "hello embedded error" and my pics dont send to the blog. Its frustrating cause i have so many pic to show! Im going to go now maybe i will figure it out!

yahoo messsanger

2005-06-05T10:14:00.000-04:00

Yes girlie i do have yahoo messanger.. my name on it phoenix_paige. Hit me up sometime!

me and mady

2005-06-02T10:58:00.000-04:00

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/99/4532/640/8%20months%20036l.jpg

Im not sure how to post pics on here but my friend had a pic of me and my daughter on his blog. click the link and there I am.

So I blog on

2005-06-02T10:42:00.000-04:00

To my last blog just to inform ya... it was resolved. She ammited that she was alittle over dramatic. I should of took it with a grain of salt though cause I know thats the way she is... but for some reason i felt like it was the last straw. Anyway... Matt and I love our new car. Its a 2004 nissan altima 2.5.s. It so nice~! I love pulling up to my school cause Ihave one of the nicest cars there if not the nicest. The radio kicks ass too i made some C.D's with some phat beats and it sounds great. I hate driving it though cause i dont want to put any miles on it, LOL. Matt wants to always go somewhere now! were a funny couple. you would love to be a fly on our wall trust me! Matt and our Dog Debo have farting contest....Just something you would see if you were a little fly. any way I need to go get Mady dressed...Take care and have a good day or night!

just blogging

2005-05-27T11:01:00.000-04:00

Ok so this is going to just be lots of thoughts into one blog. First off i will start by saying this might offend some people that know me but i dont really care. I read my so called friends blog and she said " i dont have any real friends" Well you did, i try to always be there for you and to understand you when you would have your sick times, infact other people just droped your ass like you didnt even exsist but i put up with it. Then you say you cant find a man to love you.... Ummmm Eddie loves you and has never dropped you like the many others has. Eddie going to Iraq dosnt mean he abannodend you hes doing his job that you wanted him to do, you wanted him to reinlist he did. Maybe Gods putting you in your place sorta speak, what you did to Eddie is coming back to you. Your life not mine so thats your problem, im not considered a real friend so i shouldnt care. Ok on a cheery note i pick up my new car today.. wooohoo~! Matt also got a 200$ raise so now its 1200 a week! Im teachers aid in the class so lots of pressure is on me to to do best.. I always feel the teachers eyes burning through the back of my skull when im cutting hair. It drives me crazy. I also got offered a job and take home weekly would be 550$ plus tips so matt and i would be making 2000$ a week but i would never see my daughter so i turned it down.. Money cant buy you happiness cause with all that money i would be sad everyday that im not with Matt and Mady. Once i graduate though im going to start work right away but thats different cause i will be home at night. Anyway im going to go so i can pick up my new car!

not on the same level

2005-05-24T08:41:00.000-04:00

Do you ever have those friends who isnt quite on the same level as you are. Like you had done everything and now its time to grow up before you grow up to late and work a dead end job cause you spent your younger years trying to catch up to all the people who were having fun while you sat at home and was a dork? Thats me. Not the dork part....the part where now im focusing on my career and my family rather then how drunk i can get and how many cool stories i can tell. Whats weird is all the stories ive been hearing lately ive already done so i dont feel im missing out on anything! yeah ok done that wow your just now doing that! Im kinda forced to be this way though, I am a mommy now. I could ask someone to babysit and i can go out and have storiesd to tell the next day but for some reason i think theres more to life then that. Matt and i do go out like once a month but it never works out for us eother we fight or the people were with fight. I think next time we go out it will have to exclude drinking! I love school. I get tired while im there and cant wait to go home but i love the fact that in the end i will have something to show for. The cosmotology gross annual income is 50 billion I know every one reading this has contributed to that! Permenate make up alone is like 30 billion and thats not even included in that 50. Im getting my licenses for EVERYTHING makeup nails hair body massage. Im going to make sure i get the most it has to offer. Well im also in the middle of coloring my hair time to rinse!

Back to Blogging

2005-05-23T11:06:00.000-04:00

So I havent blogged in a while i have been super busy at school. We are already hair cutting and perming. I HATE PERMS! they take up so much time. Ok so my first day of school was horriable. Out of all days that was the day i got the flu. I went to school sick as a dog and i threw up there 3 times. Your probably thinking well why didnt you just go home...well at my school in the first 2 weeks you cant miss one day or you get kicked out that means even going home early. The bathroom is right in the class so everyone heard me throw up and when i walked out this girl handed me a piece of gum.... Im better now though! Can you say embarrasing!

My first mothers day!

2005-05-07T21:47:00.000-04:00

Last mothers day i spent it in labor this time i have my lil girl here with me. I remember my water broke at 11pm mothers day- night. Cant believe its been a year. only 17 more to go till shes legall~! Nah she can live with my as long as she wants! My Dad gets here tomorrow and my mom and grandparents get here monday we are going to have a full house. I cant wait to see my family! Its 4 years since ive seen my grandparents. My friend from GA is stoping by too, she happens to be in FL at the same time so she said she would stop by! This is wonderful! Eddie you comminted on my last blog.... Thank you. Iam glad that you feel comfortable enough talking to me about hard times. Eddie is in Iraq for our peace here in America, Infantry man too. I pray for him all the time. Not just for his safe return but that his life when he gets back will be on track. Anyways sure he dosnt want all the attention so i will leave it at that! Good night bloggers.

I have good friends

2005-05-06T14:21:00.000-04:00

I have friends and none of them know eachother. They are scattered pretty much all over the USA Im talking WA, Cali, AZ,OR,MD,NY and GA and in each state i can say i have at least one true friend that i talk to almost everyday. Well My friend in MD is haveing HUGE problems and my friend in GA who dosnt even know my MD friend talked to her on the phone and helped her out. Gave her comfort and support. Thats so sweet! I feel aweful when my friends are haveing hard times. Im the type of person that prays for guidence and wisdom that way when someone calls me with problems i can help them in a positive way. That is the biggest thing, when they are spilling out all there emotions to me i say to myself " what can i say uplifting and positive" I have alot of friends that say they get comfort from my thoughts and advice. And that to me means alot. I try to be positive in every situation and negative people really get to me but i feel sorry for them cause liveing life negativly wont get you anywhere but stress and lonileness cause no one wants to be with someone who brings them down.

I PASSED~

2005-05-04T21:47:00.000-04:00

As you see from my last blog i had a test to take in order to get into school. I was a little paniked considering i havent been to school in over 4 years. Well i took the test and i passed Quote un Quot " with flying colors!" you needed a 200 to pass i got 380 so i way passed! wooopieee! I decided to start in May instead of waiting for June to start. May 17th. ANyway! I went to Dennys tonight for dinner, i havent been there for almost a year and there menu has changed alot. they actually had good food! I got a spicy buffallo chicken melt it was good. WEll Im going to go peeeeee im over excited. Lomen--- OUT!

Test Day

2005-05-04T10:32:00.000-04:00

So today is test day....School is around the corner so reality is starting to sink in. My test is called ATB test i think its a type of placement testing. Im not sure if you have to pass to get in or not. I know right now that i suck at math and that alone would cause me to fail. Im worried! Im going to sneak in a calculator if that will help any. Well im going to go now ill letcha know how i did on the test.

I got in!

2005-04-28T12:06:00.000-04:00

So i finished up my paper work and its now official that i am starting school in June. Iam so relieved that i got financial aid (or at least a portion of it) Then my friend Jess called me right after my acceptance and told me that she got a job as a nurse and her schooling has paid off so i was happy for her. Whats a girl to do! Duh! buy rockie road and celebrate! I only ate a few bites though cause i have personal traning and i dont want that money to go to waste and i cant work out any harder then what i already am or i might die! my goal is 115 so thats only a few ponds away a little rockey road a day wont hurt! I have a doc appt today, the kind where they see you naked...AHHHH! im not looking forward to this! but maybe some rockey road will make get my mind off of it! to the kitchen i go!

to add to titleless

2005-04-27T11:36:00.000-04:00

So as you read yesterday wasnt my day well to add to my list of unfortante events on my way to school my tire blew out. Nope im not making it up, i had a blow out. It cost 90 dollars to fix the bitch too. After that i thought theres no way i can cook with my luck i will probably burn down the house so we went out to eat and Madyson spilled her water ( ice cold water) all over the tabel and then me and Matt started fighting. Im glad that day is over!

titless

2005-04-26T17:38:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I hate life but I love living. You ever have one of those days where nothing goes right, everything gets on your nerves and time seems to be moving so slow. 3 bad things happend

1st - I stub my toe getting into the shower
2nd- when I get out of the shower I find that my puppy crapped on the floor and it had worms
3rd- I cut my finger trying to make myself a sandwhich and it wont stop bleeding.
This all happend in a hours time... then I hate to see how the rest of the day will turn out.

Mr Sunflower seed

2005-04-25T17:00:00.000-04:00

Cant think of a title

I'm addicted to sunflower seeds. My friend said that she was reading a article in some trendy mag and it said to write a letter to your addiction and say what you liked about it but why you feel its time to confront it.
(This is just humor, im not really going to give up my addiction. Losers never win)

Dear Mr David sunflowers seeds,
Your sunflower seeds are by far the best. I am a busy person and sometimes i dont have time to make something to eat let alone grab a snack on the go. I have a bad of your sunflower seeds in my car and another by the computer. Usually i crave saltyness oppose to sugary foods and i would have to say that your sunflower seeds supply the right amount to make my lil mouth happy. On the go i just roll down my window and spit out the darn lil shell that makes me work so hard for that rewarding seed. Or at my computer i have a lil trash can for the shells. You Mr sunflower man have supplied for my addiction but now its time to woman up and face this addiction head on. Your sunflower seeds have made my tongue feel as though it has no more taste buds left. My tongue is litteraly numb. My lips are chaped and the roof of my mouth is sore. I imagine this is what it feels like having mouth cancer from chew. I also look like a baseball player spitting out all the shells and thats not very attractive now is it!?! Your sologan is " Eat, spit, be happy" IM NOT HAPPY im sore and unattratvie! Iam quiting!
sunflower junkie!

Well i did what that article said to do but some reason it only made me feel stupid. writing a letter to a sunflower seed just dosnt seem very high on my sanity level. But it was fun. To classify that as fun means i have to be losing it....Nah its just monday. Mondays are always boring!

Great Day

2005-04-24T00:04:00.000-04:00

Some Saturdays I like to get a babysitter and hit up the clubs with my man ( even though what ever club we go to Matt always seems to get a job there as a bouncer, hes gotten lots of offers to work at the club... one look and they want him.) ( hes 6'7 280 pounds case you were wondering) but this weekend was totaly chill. Matt and I got in a waterfight, took lots of walks, played catch with the dog and chased Madyson around ( shes learing how to run oppose to walk) I love my life. I have some great friends, a man who loves me and our daughter and a smart puppy. Were not rich but we are more then well off. I want to post pics but i cant seem to figure out how to do it. but there is this one blog you should check out its something ive never seen before http://coisasdalaurinha.blogspot.com/

human for sale

2005-04-22T19:35:00.000-04:00

Im worth 2,888,330.00 on http://www.humanforsale.com how much are you worth???

May 10th to her 365 days.

2005-04-22T16:30:00.000-04:00

I get lost in your smile, the way you greet me with your toothless grin melts my heart.
Even when the world weighs on my shoulders you manage to find that smile hiding deep within.
So easily do i fall, so easily you are there to pick me up. You restore me.
Your face has shown my purpose in life.
I have so much to give, I have so much to love, so much reason to life.
No matter the burdens the day may bring, there is always a calm inside me.
Even when my heart feels broken I can still laugh.
I cant ask for more. I believe this is Heaven to no one else but me.
How beautiful you are, from the moment i saw your sweet face I swear I knew im gonna love you forever.
Theres nothing else i want more but to feel this way forever.
The love of my life is less then 365 days old, only 32 inches long, bald, missing some teeth and is a girl.
Theres nothing more I can say other then Madyson Jane.

Pot Head!

2005-04-22T10:40:00.000-04:00

Oh my sweet Lord, my friend just sent me an article that was on ABC news, you really must read this. In case you are too lazy to click on the hilighted link I will summerize it for you. A 17 year old in Vermont was arrested after reports came into the police that he has sawed the head off a recently deceased man. In case this isn't crazy enought the apparent reasoning behind sawing the mans head of was...and I quote "Court documents said the suspect allegedly talked of using the man's head as a bong or a pipe for smoking marijuana."Holy crap! This kid was going to smoke pot through a dead mans head that he cut off. If that doesn't say fucked up then I don't know what does. His parent must be so proud. The crazy part is the kid didn't even know the guy, not that it would make it more acceptable, but to saw a strangers head off? How does one even come up with this idea

who cares really

2005-04-22T10:25:00.000-04:00

Does anyone else find it extremely amusing that Donald Trump, the man whose is known for his bad hair and bankruptcies is:Starting a Hair Care Line. Appropriately named The Lonely Three: How To Make The Most Of What You Have. Which includes glue and hairspray for wig piecesWriting a book on how to be a financial sucess. How To Make Millions Of Dollars, Marry Fabulous Women And Still Be The Worst-Dressed Person Alive. The sequel will be How To Be Bankrupt With Style.

Laundry day

2005-04-18T16:07:00.000-04:00

So its once agian monday... my weekends go by to fast. Ive just been doing laundry all day today. My house is always spotless and dishes are always done but laundry is one thing you can count on not being done. I hate doing laundry for some reason. I love clothes, i love buying clothes, i love the way clothes make me look but i hate cleaning clothes. But it was time to do some laundry.. I had only 1 thong left out of the millions that i own. I didnt take anything out for dinner either... Im kinda on strike. Matt said that he didnt need my help in the heap of our argument on saturday so im going to take him up on that. Anyways its 4:30 and i need to walk my annoying puppy. Tahtah!

What a Saturday

2005-04-16T21:15:00.000-04:00

So today all day just wasnt mine or Matts day... we disagreed on everything. I got so fed up i had to leave.. It was one of those days where you cant seem to let things go and either can the other person. I went to the park with a good book and just read. I wanted to be away from everyone at the park but by the water and in the shade so i sat on this thing that looked like a sit up bench and was reading and sometimes gazing at the water and 2 little girls like i would say about 10 years old come up to me and say " can you get up?" Im thinking what the fu**! "um. yeah, why?" Then they were like we want to do excersizes and they started doing situps... It ruined the mood so i went to my car to read. I didnt want to read sitting in the grass cause FL has a bad red ant problem.Well after awhile i came home and we argued agian and i wanted to jump off a bridge at that point i couldnt sainley handel another fight but all was ok we worked it out and we doing great agian. We barley fight but when we do we let so much out cause i think we both let things go and when were mad we deside not to let it go and hold it against eachother. I guess we need to communicate better, who knows!

WEEEEE~!

2005-04-14T03:10:00.000-04:00

today is the day is a good day! Im going out to dinner tonight and im really looking forward to it! Afterwards im going to surprise matt with the unsambel i purchased at victroia secrets! So its not only going to be a good night for me but for Matt as well! I bought the sexiest thing ever its a crotchless set could you get any sexier then that??? And its a size small... After having a baby you get excited when you are back in a small!
I better not eat to much though or it might not fit as good LOL! Im starting to like my body agian.. Im just about 5'6 and 118 pounds my goal was 115 i doubt 3 pounds is a big difference anyway. Im going to go shower, talk to you all later!

idenity

2005-04-13T22:30:00.000-04:00

I wonder about those "kind" of girls who get new boyfriends and forget about there friends... The friends that put up with all there shit before the new boi came along. They all of a sudden lost there idenity and you dont even know the person anymore. Im in a serious relationship but i still make time for all my girls, i go to a different gym then my boyfriend i do seperate things that way i am still Lynze not just known as Lynze and Matt. I guess some people just are followers and really have no idenity and are who they are with. Anyways im going to make some mexican food tonight..YUMMY!

Losing respect..

2005-04-12T15:04:00.000-04:00

Well where do I start... Ill start with my friend Brittany. She is 18 with one child who just turned 1 last month. The father of the child hates Brittany cause of her attitude and wants nothing to do with her or their son. He wasn't there for the pregnancy or anything, infact he's never met his son but has had many chances to meet him. Well she met a new guy about 2 months ago and guess what she's pregnant again.. And she's going back to her ol' ways and driving this guy away with her attitude and she thinks well I raised my son by myself I can raise this one by myself.. The only thing is she didn't raise her son by her self her mother paid for the diapers, formula, clothes and brit lives under her moms roof brit pretty much just watched her son, babysat. She thinks that if this guy leaves her that its his problem... She must not realize its her problem her attitude. I doubt she thought by 18 she would have 2 kids whom the fathers want nothing to do with her. I pray that she changes her attitude and makes it work out.. This guy likes her a lot but only can take so much.
On the other Hand I have another friend who has cheated on her husband numerous times and has found out she has an STD... What am I suppose to think about that... Other then the obvious? I would never put myself in that situation and its hard to see it her way. She says that mtv doesn't advertise enough about safe sex...So um yeah is that your excuse for sleeping around? She says that she has slept with as many guys as single girls her age do... First off she's not single and second are we all suppose to meet this requirement oh since IM 21 I should sleep with this many people? I guess I fall WAY short for my age. Its all about self respect for both my friends they lost respect for themselves and to be honest I lost respect for them.... With both them its a recurring thing you can only support them so much tell you get sick of hearing them make the same mistakes over and over again. MORALS girl get some.

Monday

2005-04-04T15:02:00.000-04:00

Well its monday, the begining to starting all over. Every day to me is the same just about. My life is pretty rutine...Which is ok cause ive never been this organized before. Sometimes i fantasize that i was one of those girls that spontanously do things.. that are never bored cause they make the most boring things fun. I use to be like that but ive done lots of changing after having my daughter.. I remember how i felt though back then. Everyone thought i was the party girl and fun but i was lonely and hurting on the inside. I wonder why i still want to be like that.. My mom says some people dont like to be happy or arnt comfortable being happy... I wouldnt give up my happiness but i think i want to be known and thats why i crave this kind of attention. My quiet lifestyle i have now has only gotten me a couple friends and boredom. I wish Matt would be up to making friends. He only likes to stay home and watch TV so to me i guess everyday is a monday.

March 27th

2005-03-28T01:07:00.000-05:00

Ok so Matt and I ended up going on the cruise we had a fun time. It was 5hrs long and really peacefull. Just what both of us needed. I really got to know each other agian. We danced..flirted..kissed.. tryed to find places that we would be alone ;) Today is my birthday 22nd birthday. We went to this really nice resturant since im also sharing my birthday with Easter this year the resturant had a special thing going on, it was a buffett but what ever you wanted they would just cook for you.. Matt had salmon, grouper, crab, prime rib.. You could have anything you wanted! I had Chicken scampi, salad and key lime pie. Madyson had mac and cheese, mashed potatoes and cheese cake. It wasnt cheap ill tell you that! But we have money and Matt wanted to spoil me so HEY why not let him! Sometimes I think a big fight between two lovers is just what the doc orderd.. Ever since Matt and I got in a fight the other day weve been so close. We never fight (unless were shit faced) and sometimes its good to let each other have it. Well Happy Easter to you and Happy birthday to me!

Cant put my finger on it

2005-03-26T02:35:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I feel so alone. The ones who are suppose to be "my equal" the one who walks besides me always seems to walk over me. He makes me feel like I'm a kid in this relationship. When I am not home he serfs the internet to see what I've done and whom I've talked too and then yells at me when I get home from work cause some random guy I care nothing about IMed me. People IM me who cares.. Besides I couldn't tell you there names or anything cause I don't talk to them other then " hi, no im not single, bye" Guess that's considers cheating though. In his eyes I've been cheating on him. I try so hard to be perfect... I am a mom I work nights to bring home extra money I keep the house spotless and when I wasn't working so late I would cook dinner. My birthday is Sunday. Saturday we were suppose to go on a cruise and he told me Friday night I had to choose being friends with a girl I've known for sometime now or he's leaving me.... I told him no way he cant do that... Its 10pm he walked out the door. He didn't want me to write in this blog... Right now this is the only way to clear my head... I can think better and express better when im silent. Writing is my path to clear thoughts... When I try to speak how I feel Im like a machine gun everything comes out fast and in one big mess way off target. Its weird though when I listen to Jeremy camps voice it takes me somewhere. Im at peace. I cant explain what it is that does it for me but it gives me clarity. I just close my eyes and get lost in his voice. His lyrics are so calmbing. I don't know who Iam any more... To Matt I am who my friends are... Im not a individual. I dont know how to earn his trust..all these descions I have in store, Im so afraid to close a door what if its the wrong door. So many clutterd thoughts. All this is overwhelming me. I had friends, I had a social life, I gave all that up when I moved to FL to be with Matt and the friends I did hold onto he wants me to give them up too. What do I do? Dying use to be the first thought, easy way to deal with things. I have one thing to live for and that one thing to me is like a million reasons not to think that way anymore. My 10 month ol' daughter. So killing myself is no longer a option. Then its rage, breaking all the pictures, throwing stuff and then reality hits in, I will have to clean it all up and its not worth it to look out of controll, It only makes me the irresposible one. So whats left....I guess blogging. So here I am. I cant pin point what it is Iam feeling, im not sure if its lonelyness, emptyness, or like theres no one out there that makes me happy.

im back dnaa dnaa dnaa back!

2005-02-28T16:22:00.000-05:00

im no longer a sickie and im here to entertain....myself with my own humor! Thats right. ok im done. Lomen- OUT~!

I was a sicko

2005-02-25T13:23:00.000-05:00

Ive been pretty boring, im going to blame it on my flu. Ive had a 103 temp the last few days and today is really the first day that im feeling lively. All though lively means pissed off and annoyed but at least i feel alive!
I was pissed off cause ive been sick for 3 days, not just ohhh i dont feel good but hard core sick. And Matt ( my live in boyfriend) has not kept up on the house. Sticky counter tops, food particles on the counters, stuff on the floor, Madysons toys every where and to top it off he ask me to cook dinner while here i am feeling like its my last day to live! Man sometimes i just get so frustrated with that guy. Any one who knows me knows i like things neat and clean, its simple clean up after your self, dont put it off just freakin do it! Ok this is getting anal, im still sick and i tend to be more annoyed when sick. Hope i feel better i havent been to the gym since tuesday im feeling outa character!

So I was wrong

2005-02-22T12:08:00.000-05:00

So I said I was going to post some pictures but i cant figure out how to do it. I downloaded "hello" but everytime I send a pic it says error. Anyone know what I have to do???? Please help a girl out! Im getting ready to go to the gym... I really gotta push myslef today though, its overcast outside and cold.. other words very gloomy. I promise if you all keep checking out my blogs they will be more interesting im still a newbie or a blog virgin. later!

Starting over

2005-02-21T11:58:00.000-05:00

I had a blog on here before but didnt keep up with it. Here Iam agian. This time I have more to say!
I am just about 22, engaged and a mommy to a 9 month ol' girl
Im from Cali but moved to FL. I Was a burnette now blonde, which i am enjoying at the moment....Knowing me my moments tend to be short... I guess you can say im always up for change.
Not sure what to say so im going to declaire this picture day and post some pics now. Later!